Emily Exler
Jeremiah 29:11 reads, ""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."" I've heard this verse quoted hundreds of times, have heard just as many sermons preached on it, and have read it for myself several times in my life as I've read through scripture. As familiar as this verse has been to me, it was not a verse that had seemed to have great meaning or application for my life. Sure, I believed it was true, for everyone else. It was a nice ideal, an encouraging saying, but with the circumstances in and surrounding my life, I had decided long ago that this was one verse that just was not meant for me.
Growing up in an abusive home certainly laid the foundation for the belief I held, but the proverbial "nail in the coffin" was being diagnosed as HIV+ after being raped. Upon receiving this news, I very much believed that my life was over. Learning that I could live and function well with HIV was not a great comfort to me, at least not initially. The thought of taking medication for the rest of my life did not thrill me, and the stigma and shame that I felt were so overwhelming that they clouded everything. I felt like any of this "good news" was nothing more than a token prize in the midst of absolute defeat. There would be no planning for a future, no more dreams or goals; for whatever reason that was not to be a part of my life, and I thought that the sooner I accepted this fact, the better off I would be. Even if I had wanted to believe differently, when I compared my circumstances with Jeremiah 29:11, I just could not. Something was wrong.
Three and a half years later, God has drastically changed my heart, my beliefs, and my life. As I trusted Him, and let go of the anger, bitterness, and pain into His healing hands, He begun to bring true healing to my wounded heart and life. He showed me that who I am is not defined by what disease I have. My identity is found in Christ alone, and in who He says that I am. "Most beloved of My soul, child of the King, daughter," these are what defines me, this is truth, this is who I am. Other labels and stigma assigned by the world have no power or control over me unless I allow them to.
Jesus, through HIV, has taught me what it really means to live, and has brought life to me as I've died to myself, let go of my plans, and allowed Him to be in control. The Lord has revealed to me that Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me. He has made it true in my heart, mind, and in my day to day life. God has given me hope and a future and has done so even through HIV. His plans and His understanding are far higher than mine, and faithful to His word, He has made "all things new."
I was recently accepted to seminary, and as of September 8th, will be a full time student there. I will be studying to receive a Master of Art in Relgion with a focus in Biblical Studies. The Lord has not only provided me acceptance there, but He has also provided a full tuition scholarship, as well as the necessary health insurance, housing, and room/board expenses. After receivng my degree, at this time, I sense the Lord leading me to teach in Uganda. The Lord has also given me a great heart for Africa, Uganda, the people there, and has provided for me to go on 2 missions trips to Africa, one to Zimbabwe, and the other to Uganda.
I am truely overhwelmed at His goodness, mercy and faithfulness, and am rejoicing over the change He has made in me and in my life. Lord Jesus, "I stand in awe of You!"
Growing up in an abusive home certainly laid the foundation for the belief I held, but the proverbial "nail in the coffin" was being diagnosed as HIV+ after being raped. Upon receiving this news, I very much believed that my life was over. Learning that I could live and function well with HIV was not a great comfort to me, at least not initially. The thought of taking medication for the rest of my life did not thrill me, and the stigma and shame that I felt were so overwhelming that they clouded everything. I felt like any of this "good news" was nothing more than a token prize in the midst of absolute defeat. There would be no planning for a future, no more dreams or goals; for whatever reason that was not to be a part of my life, and I thought that the sooner I accepted this fact, the better off I would be. Even if I had wanted to believe differently, when I compared my circumstances with Jeremiah 29:11, I just could not. Something was wrong.
Three and a half years later, God has drastically changed my heart, my beliefs, and my life. As I trusted Him, and let go of the anger, bitterness, and pain into His healing hands, He begun to bring true healing to my wounded heart and life. He showed me that who I am is not defined by what disease I have. My identity is found in Christ alone, and in who He says that I am. "Most beloved of My soul, child of the King, daughter," these are what defines me, this is truth, this is who I am. Other labels and stigma assigned by the world have no power or control over me unless I allow them to.
Jesus, through HIV, has taught me what it really means to live, and has brought life to me as I've died to myself, let go of my plans, and allowed Him to be in control. The Lord has revealed to me that Jeremiah 29:11 is true for me. He has made it true in my heart, mind, and in my day to day life. God has given me hope and a future and has done so even through HIV. His plans and His understanding are far higher than mine, and faithful to His word, He has made "all things new."
I was recently accepted to seminary, and as of September 8th, will be a full time student there. I will be studying to receive a Master of Art in Relgion with a focus in Biblical Studies. The Lord has not only provided me acceptance there, but He has also provided a full tuition scholarship, as well as the necessary health insurance, housing, and room/board expenses. After receivng my degree, at this time, I sense the Lord leading me to teach in Uganda. The Lord has also given me a great heart for Africa, Uganda, the people there, and has provided for me to go on 2 missions trips to Africa, one to Zimbabwe, and the other to Uganda.
I am truely overhwelmed at His goodness, mercy and faithfulness, and am rejoicing over the change He has made in me and in my life. Lord Jesus, "I stand in awe of You!"
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by charity joyce chandilanga on -
Dearest Emily,
Tears of sorrow filled my eyes at the beginning of your story that later changed to tears of joy.I am really convinvinced that He Intends Victory.
I wish you all the best as you go to undertake your biblical studies." it is not because his parents or himself sinned but so that the greatness of the Lord shall be seen,"
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Permalink Reply by Chad Slate on -
AMEN Emily! Wow! What an amazing testimony! After all the struggles youve been thru, the Lord has been faithful...now hes moving you into something else, my friend! All these months chatting and then hearing this news, my heart jumped for joy! Isnt the Lord good to us!?
This is exciting to read, really! I wish I could explain the excitement I have for you..UR going to Seminary...in Sept! Fantastic!
What a life the Lord has given you! Once we think we have it all figured out, the Lord let's us know-there is much more to the story than we had figured. God is so good to us, Emily!
When you told me about this over a week or so ago-it just boggled my mind. Not that I didnt think the Lord would put you in Seminary, I knew he'd do that..but it's what fell inline with the news of you returning to farther your studies. The Lord has truly taken care of all your needs-he has provided all that you'll need for the coming years in Seminary.
You are one smart cookie-and very much favored by the Lord. Not are you just favored by the Lord, but you are favored by all who have gotten to know you. You are a strong individual-One who isnt willing to give up. You stand your ground and you make peace with those around you. You shine above all circumstances and you keep a wonderful attitude as you carry on. You are devoted and unchallenged by the world around you. U stay focus on the Lord when things look ruff and then you gently come out of situations that you knew the Lord would take care of. You are a woman of much faith-a woman of much courage. You are what many women..in fact, what Christian women long to be-and all you're doing is being yourself.
Congrats! Im celebrating with U!
Once again, Emily, we are proud of you! GBU
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